How often do you have a full control of your emotion? How often do you put yourself down because of other’s insult or bad comments? How often do you mirror others’ behaviour?
You shout at me, I shall shout back to you. You insult me, I shall insult you more. You hate me, I shall hate you more. You love me, well you shall be in my good book.
Mirroring is the behaviour in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of the other. When we are in the company of certain people we often pick up their habits.
But are we picking up the good ones or the bad ones?
A person’s behaviour depends on how many good or bad things he has been accumulating inside him.
Did he take his life experiences as a tool to make him a better person or a bitter person?
Our emotions do not emerge without our volition. Rather, we construct our emotions by making predictions using our past experiences and our collection of concepts. Thus as ‘architects’ of our experiences we need not be at the mercy of our emotions – rather we must learn how to master them.
Fine-tune your emotion concept. Whenever someone is throwing his frustration at you, analyse his behaviour before reacting. Do not open your bag to pick up his garbage and then react according to it. But rather you should open your bag of wisdom and project your refined qualities. You have the capability to turn crappy situations into good ones. To be able to do that you must be very conscious of your emotions and reactions instead of playing the blaming game of ‘why did he do this to me? Why did he insult me? Why did he put me down? Why are all the bad things happening to me?’
I quote a famous saying of George Bernard Shaw, ‘Do not wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it’
You can tailor your behaviour by mastering your attitudes and emotions. Mirroring the bad attitudes of people will make you lose your refined personality. Do not give the remote control of your emotions to others. Control it yourself. You are the ONLY one who choose how bright you want to shine and that depends only on YOU.
Dr. Vandita LADKOO
Next article: How to master your Body Language to create your personal brand
Les points de vue exprimés dans cette rubrique ne reflètent pas nécessairement ceux de la rédaction.